"I feel like I am alone in this
world.
But that’s not something I wish to change;
At least, not at this point of my life."
It would be a little extreme to say that he
hated people. No, that’s preposterous. You can’t hate someone you don’t know.
Yes, you could probably dislike them, but not hate—that’s too strong a word.
More often than not, staying alone
is a choice that most people would never understand.
It usually happens when you get so
annoyingly picky that you fail miserably to find anyone. So, in the end, you
have to compromise with your own company. And that’s like water-boarding
yourself in a pool of unresolved emotions, and injecting yourself with lethal
flashbacks.
In short, for some, being alone is ‘kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic’ (if you don’t get this reference then we are probably not great friends).
In short, for some, being alone is ‘kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic’ (if you don’t get this reference then we are probably not great friends).
That’s one significant reason why
he doesn’t like bumping into people while he’s travelling in metro.
He simply wishes for a crowd with
no familiar faces; so that he could be what he wants to be—no one. He enjoys
the pure anonymity he receives while riding in his beloved metro. He’s free to
build his own weird world with people who have no power over him. Just for the
duration of his ride, he wishes to be the creator; to be the one in control. Just
for a while.
No matter how close he is to that
person, his first instinct would be to avoid any sort of eye-contact, change
the coach if possible, or walk past that person if there’s an opportunity.
He always hated such collisions and the need for small talks when something like that happens. Maybe it was his attempt to rebel against destiny. Maybe it was his way to get control over his life. Running into people always feels chaotic to him, as if things are out of bounds. It’s not like he ever got a grip over his circumstances, but when he bumps into people it becomes evident that there’s no grip whatsoever. And, perhaps, he couldn’t bear that.
He always hated such collisions and the need for small talks when something like that happens. Maybe it was his attempt to rebel against destiny. Maybe it was his way to get control over his life. Running into people always feels chaotic to him, as if things are out of bounds. It’s not like he ever got a grip over his circumstances, but when he bumps into people it becomes evident that there’s no grip whatsoever. And, perhaps, he couldn’t bear that.
You can only assume why he’s like
that. You are free to do that. Because, frankly, he doesn’t give a damn what
you think about him. It might not make sense to most of us, but one thing that
he has learned is that even sensible things won’t get you any brownie points.
So, what the hell!
